Really, who better to counsel about dating than your soul sister? What factors or feelings matter most to you in determining whether you go on a second date with someone or not? If you had to err on one side: Are you someone who tends to get out of relationships too fast, or stay in them too long? Why do you think that is? Do you have a pattern that many of your dating relationships tend to follow? How has that cycle served you, and how do you wish it could change? Is the primary point of contention here the age difference or the fact that you got with a friend of his?
The main problem is your second point. Can you add a location or culture tag here? That might help people better consider what the friendship and relationship customs are where you're from.
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It's usually not a good idea to accept an answer within 24 hours of asking the question. The checkmark will make other users of the site think that their attention is not needed, while they might provide valuable additional insights into your situation. Many of our users are currently asleep because of time zones; you might be missing out. This is how relationships usually started before we had the internet. Snow Snow 7, 3 17 Except if Bob wanted to hit on Alice. XtremeBaumer Bob wanted to hit on Alice?
I don't see that in the post. Dec 6 '17 at That wasn't mentioned and probably noone except Bob knows this.
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Yet I think it is something which should maybe be considered. Maybe Alice can give some insight on this topic her relationship with Bob. XtremeBaumer Fair, I wondered the same thing. However, we can only give answers based on the OP's statements. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't missed a detail. I don't believe that Bob wants to hit on Alice, as he recently said he is looking for a relationship and is active on tinder etc.
Keep in mind that no matter how you inform Bob, he might need time to adjust. You could even start with: I'm really glad you introduced me to Alice. Make small-talk about the person. Then you could say: This can only happen in one of a few ways: You don't go places together in public, you don't mention to your friends what a great time you had [at the movies, on a picnic, at the zoo, at that new restaurant] with your girlfriend, Alice, on the weekend You and Bob are not that close, so while you tell many people these things, you don't really see Bob to tell him.
You are actively hiding the relationship from Bob because you're worried how he will react If it is the last, then I think you are missing a third possible reason Bob might get angry, which is deception and hiding. Alice should be doing the same when she has her own conversations or get-togethers with Bob. While he might ignore them, any one of these comments could easily lead Bob to say Alice?
What does she have to do with anything? She's my friend, after all. Or the equivalent sentence to Alice about you. At which point you can say something like, Yes, she is your friend, and we've been on several a few, a lot of dates since a few months after you introduced us. Kate Gregory Kate Gregory We have not been dating for 3 months, I was introduced to Alice 3 months ago. I have edited the OP to make this more clear.
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Still, don't make a big deal, just be sure to talk about this new excitement in your life. You said Ideally, "Bob" will not mind and our friendship will not be affected. I think this should happen in almost all situation, not just "ideally". There are objectively no reasons for which Bob should be upset, except for the one and only case where Bob has a crush on Alice Does he as far as you know?
Markino Markino 3, 7 With this in mind I think you should tell him directly.
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You know I've been seeing some more of Alice. Hope all goes well.
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