If so I'd be interested in the responses you got. If my dd wanted to date him then I would not have a problem with it. At 17 most of the people I hung out with outside of school were IME most 17yo's have had sex with at least 1 partner. DH and I have been together for 17 years, we started dating right after my 17th b'day, he was He was certainly more sexually experience than me, but then again, he started when he was He is an amazing DH and father.
I'm sure my parents worried about him as much as they would have with anyone else no matter the age.
21 year old guy dating 17 year old girl?
I'm not sure why parents would automatically feel more comfortable with a 17, 18, My DH had all of his well most partying, experimenting, etc. I am very glad I did not meet DH when he was his younger self, I don't think we would have made it and I would have missed out on the amazing family I have today. I am glad my parents and I looked at the person, not the number when we met him. I think I'll do the same for my children.
First of all, by age 17, I can't imagine "letting" or "forbidding" my child from dating. I definitely plan to keep an open dialogue about dating and sexuality, and my kids already know that I'd prefer if they didn't date until they were ready to think about marriage- but I wouldn't absolutely forbid something like that. Nor would I say "OK, you can date this guy but not that guy" especially not based on something as arbitrary as age.
I can teach and guide, but what power do I have to actually stop them from being romantically involved? That aside, whether or not a relationship between a 17yo girl and a 21yo boy could be healthy depends completely on the individuals involved. That's only a 4 year age difference, and people grow and mature at different rates. I agree, depends on the people involved how I would feel But am I the only one that thinks that a 17yr old shouldn't be referred to in terms of who her parents will "LET" her date???
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I was already making life decisions at that age and with my now DH. I also think that while parents of a 17 yr old can and will have opinions about who their kids date, they ultimately can't be in charge. I would have just snuck around behind my parents back if they had forbid me to date at I think feedback and respect for the choices a 17 yr old makes makes more sense to me. I feel that dictating or disallowing a daughter to date someone due to age or whatever would only drive my daughter further away from a respectful grownup relationship with me, ya know?
It would tell her that I think she is incapable of making important decisions for herself in the most intimate way and that I don't think she smart enough to judge a partners intentions on her own? If at 17 I am in charge of doing that for her, then who is in charge at 18?
If we were talking 14 or 15, my answer would be slightly different. I was 17 and he was We met in college I was already out of my parents domain, so they didn't have any voice in my decision.
My mother was nervous about him and made some really stupid assumptions based on his age. But here is the breakdown: In fact, he'd never even french kissed, never mind anything else! I was, um, more experienced. Not even on his 21st birthday. He just doesn't see the point in drinking. I'd had my first vodka at Very much "his own man" who wasn't going to be pushed or influenced by a bunch of dumb college guys. I probably would have done anything for people to like me at that time! If anyone should have been nervous about us dating, it should have been HIS mother!
Age is just a number, it is all about the person's maturity and values. Sabrina loving wife to Nate , frazzled mom to Gabriella and Robert My bed and heart are overflowing!
Would you let your 17 year old date a 21 year old? - Mothering Forums
I say yes with the general caveat that we're dealing with marginally responsible people. In my case, my older two at least will likely be in college at that age my son will probably enter college at around 15 at the oldest, my daughter at 16 or 17 at the latest. Seventeen year olds are almsot adults and likely to do what they feel like, regardless of their parents' wishes. I'd rather keep the lines of communication open, so no one is sneaking around. My girls will most likely start college when they're Even if they would graduate HS later, I wouldn't feel that it's my place to dictate their romantic choices at that age.
By the way, girls like sex. It isn't all about whether or not she's able to defend herself against the advances of the older man. I was 17 when I had my first serious boy friend, who was 21, and I was definitely the controlling one in that relationship. I initiated the physical stuff. Originally Posted by eclipse. Age doesn't matter so much as we age ourselves but there's a lot for your young daughter to learn over the next 4 years. The problem is, if you are too overbearing with your disapproval you may only be encouraging her to rebel. Originally Posted by philomom.
Originally Posted by because why not? When I was 17, my best friend and I spent a lot of time with her brother and his friends, who were all We drank alcohol and smoked pot every weekend. I never "dated" any of them but one guy and I hooked up pretty regularly, and I fooled around with a few others.
My friend slept with several of them. They didn't really want to "date" us, but we were fun and cute and young and friendly, so there you go. I've no regrets, but I would monitor a situation like that for my daughters and wouldn't permit the unsupervised partying and overnights like my parents did.
BB code is On. For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome. Originally Posted by hermionesmum I wouldn't rule it out, but it would depend on the individual personalities involved. In my experience, 21 year old boys do not usually have a fully matured sense of their sexuality - not necessarily more than a 17 year old girl. When I was , I had a very defined sense of my sexuality even though I was a virgin until almost 18 , and I resented that people would think that just because I was a young girl I would have no sexual desires of my own, that any sexual situation I might get into would be the result of pressure from the man.
That was simply not true for me. Also, at that age most boys my age seemed hopelessly juvenile - good as friends maybe, but definitely not sexually attractive. But then again, I was "old" for my age. Most of my relationships have been with men several years older than me, and my DP is three years older, which means that when I was 17 he would have been 20 we got together when I was barely Though as many have said, it totally depends on the personalities involved. At those ages there is so much variation in individual maturity level. I would probably not have a problem with my 17 year old daughter dating a 21 year old unless they were obviously on totally different levels of development.
I do think it is fair for the parent to get to meet and spend time with the partners of their children though, especially in cases with such an age difference. In that case it would be easier to judge whether their relationship was appropriate or not. Study tools and advice. Uni home and forums. Careers home and forums. Home […] Forums Life and style Relationships. What can you expect from the first two weeks of uni?
Students reveal all here Go to first unread. Report Thread starter 9 years ago 1. Recently met a girl through my job she is a student nurse She's great and we get on really well. Thing is, she is 17 and im Alot of my mates think that the age gap is too big?
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Im not sure, what do you think? Report 9 years ago 2. Report 9 years ago 3. Report 9 years ago 4. Report 9 years ago 5. If you think she's mature etc go for it - don't just judge her on her age or what your friends think. Report 9 years ago 6. I don't think it is wrong. Only possible problem would be her not getting in places if you were to go out on a night time, but what do I know she might look old enough or have fake ID! Report 9 years ago 7.
When I was 16 I dated a 24 year old. Man I was immature. As long as your intentions are honorable then theres nothing wrong with the age gap at all. Report 9 years ago 8. Report 9 years ago 9. The fact you're checking means your responsible though.. Report 9 years ago I don't see a problem I've dated and had a large gap between us